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25 April 2021 @ 11:43 pm
Hello~ nadz desu~
As crazy as i always be~~

In April,2018
I want to be normal Arashi-Ex-an.
Which is I am not a fan.
I don't want to be hurt.
Because of different point of views.
By this i wont hurt as i declaring myself am a fan right?

It doesnt sound right, but i still want to enjoy what i love without being hurt.
This is new strategy. Experimental stage.


Not a total defeat. But it fail.
Just wait till 2020.
And tomorrow is april...
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07 August 2019 @ 11:31 pm
-to fill later -
07 August 2019 @ 11:16 pm
-to fill later-
22 July 2019 @ 10:07 am
-to fill later-
30 June 2019 @ 11:33 pm
Waku-waku Arashi Officially End for today and Arashi as teacher.

I'm shocked, and sad and bit lost.
My chance to experience waku-waku is zero now.
It won't be waku-waku arashi anymore if it continue by the other groups. The only good things is I able to ballot and lost.

Still if it for a good reason. Why not continuing it. It bring me back to the time when tsunami hit tohoku.

Little by little arashi leaving us. Just now I realize how the hiatus announcement work. It shocking and hard to digest but it need to be done.

They give us love and pain at the same time. Haha. I wondering if there Will be concert for next year. If this 5 by 20 concert end and they end just like that, another hope to go to their concert is gone.

Whatever it is I wish all the best for Arashi and Fans.
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13 May 2019 @ 08:25 pm
Another one~

So this is the feeling. your body feels cold. your hand shaking and the result : unsuccessful Became ❓❓❓then 😩... same time relief . what to do if i hit and i still dont have money. 😂This the best for me, so Ill be okay 😅 Glad i didnt have to wait for the 2nd one.
For the rest. All the best! 😊 Who success in balloting congratulation 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 🎊
I feel Jelly... The one who success have stars and come in beautiful decoration. Please do something about this, cause suddenly i feel sad with my message 😭 #arashi #result
While looking at youtube, i found a video from zero about amie namuro. People crying and stay outside the dome. They still can hear the voice. So it not that bad to stay outside the dome. I already imagine myself . But will i manage to be outside the dome ? 😭
2nd day of the Ticket result day, Even i said i will be okay, i also feel sad. Even though i read all the nice word. Even i feel happy at last i have my own fc membership. It just sad.
I ranting about ticket system and want to post in this thread but i dont think ill find it. Still, i disagree with the system when same people hit ticket for number of time even with Multiple fc member.Other than that, I believe there probably case who applied and companion...

..Both hit the ticket. I dont blame on fan because it definitely based on luck and they paid to be a members. Just if the system be a bit equal, It will be great. Even i saw friend hit, i am happy but cant help feel sad with the system. Anyway, Do we need to apply for...

the unsold, unattend seat, unpaid tickets? If i do need to do it, i pass. I believe other people need it than me. I probably in this dream forever `want to attend arashi concert´ but i pray, so everything InshaAllah will be alright 😊
And let see what will happen next. Anyway, i didnt receive my card. I didnt receivey birthday card. So if i didnt receive my birthday card which i kinda happy before, ill going chase them. Though i doubt ill ever to watch it 😭. The notice came on my birthday ? 😒

somehow this become my rant post 😝.Sorry about that. Haha. Anyway, April is my self proclaim anniversary in arashi fandom. what should i do? i already ate 3 bars of meiji chocolate and it didnt count special anymore. I want to eat cake, but one slice cake is expensive?

The shops in shopping mall always scared me because of its price when i peak from outside the store. But eat it sometimes is nice right? That make it special. At the end, probably just eat mcD or kfc because it doesnt scare me that much 😂

And please,please,pleaseeeeee this april, a good news come to my mailbox 😭 I need to calculate how much i need and expenses for incoming concert or 24 hours goods. Not having a job is tough 😭😭😭😭
Atlast on 050419, on @ matsumiya day, a day after sakuraiba vsa kiss day, I received the email. Yay. Alhamdulillah. But the shipping 😢. Now i think i will get scare when i got an email. 😫 What is the best way to cut the shipping cost? Combine it? But there Additional cost 😓
I still disappointed in Jfc and more to myself. Because i expect the birthday card. Enter the #arashi fc is like a present to myself. Later they announce the card things on my birthday. In first place, if i am not going to receive it, do not give me hope.

Simply said i need to wait for my next birthday doesnt make me happy at all. My fault to expect that, my fault to enter late. I feel like crying and did cry when i think about this. Im depress. It stupid, but i want that than hitting a ticket. 😢

It their rules, my bad timing or what so ever, just once, if i am not going to get it, dont say anything or give me hope. I hate liar. Thank you Jfc I dont want that stupid card anymore, save that to all good fans out there. 👣

Mutual i talked to, sorry ive bugging you with my question. Also, thank you for guidance.

done! After this my pinned tweet will be the link to the twitter i want to check only.

13 May 2019 @ 08:09 pm
Because  i hate to not see my post anymore in twitter.
Regard the one who said 4nin Arashi.

Old, but I want to talk about the video edited by a fan. From the bottom of my heart, i truly didnt like the act. I dont understand why involve arashi in that video while arashi member themselves talk about taking the decision to be on hiatus together.

On the other hand, i do understand the feeling of disappointment. We all human and we cant compare ourself and the level of our love with other fans. Our act to channel all the frustration is also different. I do understand that. So here, i am not blaming he/she hundred percent.

Because i do care about the bond between arashi fans than arashi themselves. By bashing or getting angry will only hurt each other. At this time, i can only getting along with people. For people doesnt like what i think and act, can tell me so i can try to ignore them.

Talking about arashi, i believe they will be sad IF they saw or know about the video. But still they have fans that will support them and will be alright. But if we talking about person life. It will be different. In addition we facing them directly through Internet. So,think.

Still by telling he/she not good in a good way, i really give a thumbs up. Report it to be taken down is also okay since we dont talk to the uploader right? Hohoho.


At this time, this Arashian, fans, true fans whatsoever annoys me . Just let them be lah. Yang korang dok sibuk promote tu kenapa? Because you a good supporter which support everyyyyything make you a good fans? I think you no one to judge for them to be who they want to be.

She seem happy to make you all going mad

I wont agree for what i think not right. I hate nino. So what? I still like arashi, and people i know for this behavior said they wont support them but still Support silently. They want to stop but they still in the fc, buy dvds and going to concert.

Maybe not everyone. But well i just hate to see people think they always have the power over someone because they can harass them. In both side. The guilt person and the good fans. If there no exposure, the video wont even reach 100.

So just stop saying how to like arashi, when they hate or dislike one person in arashi and You cant imagine themselves as a fans. Feelings is not the same. There lot a way to be a fans. It can be because of Jun Ancient perm that people start to love them.

When you think youre right. People will think they right. So chill. You can support as much as you want because it the right thing to do. peringatan untuk diri sendiri jugak.

I really not fit to be in this fandom anymore. I just want to stop. If it happen before 2020. I feel it really a good things.

Tapi tak baik lah nak mention Bende Yang boleh lukakan hati Orang tu. cewah. Dia nampak happy je sebab ramai dah aware. Tapi macam jahat jugaklah. I pray she will be alright and come to enjoy and like arashi as 5. If not, the only things to do is leave the fandom.

Leave arashi.

#edit here and there . so much typos. xD
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21 April 2019 @ 11:02 pm

Hello LJ,

I managed to stop myself from posting craps but now I am here to throw what inside me.


After 2+ months of waiting, I received my card and my first bulletin (I hope it was first) Yay! . I showed it to my mother sister and niece. Just to show off. Haha.  It was a bad luck with the ballot, but I received it. So somehow, my one of the pray come true ^^. I vividly remember, but my mother and sister said “Diorang kat sana suka-suka awak kat sini dapat ape?” and I just laugh. Hahahaha. What to do I did try to stop and leave them, but it not happen. So when opportunity comes without asking, I grab it.

Still, I consider entering with me getting my fc card, bulletin and birthday card. It will be my best birthday gift ever! But no, after asking around (sorry to bugging you fans) and mail the jfc they ask me to wait for my next birthday. It is in 2020 yo!. I don’t know how other fan feel, but I feel so sad about it. If I am not going to receive it just don’t just send automated mail, and don’t give me a hope. What sad me the most, they send it on my birthday. At first I thought it a wish, haha but no~ everyone received it right?. I just can’t with the liar. Even they aren’t responsible for that, but that not something I can accept easily. Japan is the country of technology but I believe only Johnny’s isn’t. I hope I can hack into their database  and ruin everything -_-!

Anyway, on Friday, I cried my eyes out. The tears just come out. Just thinking about it makes me sad. At the end, I feel better. I had my puffy eyes the next day. Hahaha. Like nino’s case, I don’t trust jfc anymore. I don’t feel happy about update there ( not that I can come anyway and then what my mom told me make senses. Hahaha). Nevertheless, 5x20+ keep me entertain.


The next day, my friend contacted me. With my swollen eyes, i  agree to meet her and so that I can forget all my sadness. Even it not intentional, but it is a good way to forgot about it. We went to 2-3 places, eating watching movies and eat. Haha. She not my bf, but she regularly contact me, so I consider her as my friend. She finally get a job and in training. I pray Allah will ease everything for her and get accept as permanent. ^^ . I can’t belief myself how I can agree to watch “ weeping women?” when im not usually watch that kind of movies. Hahaha. The best part of that movie is when the girl want to her doll. One of the person shout she even want to buy that kid a new doll. Lol. We laugh so hard at that part xD. Anyway,how hard my heart is, when it come to someone persuade me, at the end, I will end up following the request. XD. I am weak against kindness too. >< So Saturday, end with hurt foot and not crying . Huhuhu


Mural day. It been ages so I don’t know what should and shouldn’t do. At the end, im lost. It feel ive been ignore. But at the same time, to get accept is to blend in yourself. Somehow i managed.However I just cant stand the attitude. I hope I can change when Im here but it proves me wrong. For the rest of mylife I hope I can be okay. Then when everything finish, they said I can go back to the dorm, later I saw the picture they take as a group without telling anything? Can you belief that? The good thing is, I am not doing much. The bad things are my foot hurt which means, I did do works. It like you works but not being paid. I can’t understand what kind the world turn now, but its now and I need to adapt fast.

I believe me staying here made me survivor instinct crush. I become stupid person  -_-  But I didn’t cry about the card, which is good today. Maybe because my heart turn to stone.My everyday life is to check on the page incase there any new update~



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31 March 2019 @ 08:42 pm
Setel jadi sukarela tuk jom masuk ipt. sakit kaki. But best la. Suka buat keje macam ni.
Best dapat jumpe arashian. Honestly, kalau orang yang aku familiar memang akan cepat je tangkap rupa dia. xD
Ataupun yang baik. Paling kurang akan ingat nama lj,twitter yang dia selalu guna. Kalau la aku tak bagi beg
dan melarikan diri, mesti tak jumpe xD. Once again, hi sya xD

Masuk je april harap luck bertambah baik. Semuanya takde luck. Undi (in Malays for Ballot?
Macam tak kene je. Hahaha) Tak dapat pon. Nak menang trip, tak dapat jugak. Dan tadi, ade
cabutan bertuah pon tak dapat. Nak menang beskal xD. Jangan beskal, ketas pon tak dapat. Hahaha.

April, ann ver (even last year da cancel 1 thn.lol) aku, so harap dapat la bende yang dinanti.
Dari april sampi tahun2 mendatang akan mempunyai luck yang setinggi gunung everest la harapnya.
Paling kurang pon dapat luck2 orang yang selalu dapat tiket. Hahaha.

Mengantuk tapi tak leh tido. Ni la hasilnya.....
Nak tgok shiyagare dulu. Tgok dorang makan2 lepas tu.
Kempunan -_-
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24 March 2019 @ 11:09 pm
Need to do something for this lj. It was a mess.
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